Savin' Me
by butterfly.cell
Summary: What Jack went through at the hands of the Master isn't talked about, and there's no one but him who knows exactly... But who is it who saves him from the memories? Song fic. M for violence. X JACK/IANTO X slight Jack/Gwen


Okay, so here's a nother cracky little song fic! This (as with Numb) was inspired by a fan vid I found on youtube (love to all the ones I've been watching, i really do adore them!). I figured I do one about Jack's POV, cos sometimes I feel like there's not enough of him being hurt and confused about things.

This is my attempt to explain the mixed messages he gives out in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. All will become apparent when you read it. Hopefully, you'll stick it through, never fear, it has a good ending! The horror doesn't last for long!

So yeah, give it a go; yell at me if you don't like it, review if you do and we'll all be happy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters or the song, they belong to Russel T. Davies and Nickelback respectively. I just like to play around every so often.. I shall return them in mint condition, don't worry, Mr. Davies Sir.

* * *

**Savin' Me by Nickelback**

_**Prison gates won't open up for me  
**__**On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
**__**Oh, I reach for you**_

The Master had Jack strung up, chained to pipes like a dog. He'd release him once a day for ten minutes, unless Jack needed punishing. On flirting with Lucy Saxon, purely out of boredom, he'd earned himself the loss of a week's worth of the brief freedom. When the time came for him to be let down, he'd fallen to his knees, his legs unable to work. The only thing that got him to move was the thought of someone back at home, someone down on Earth who would wait for him, who'd save him if they knew the pain he was in.

It was that which made him crawl forwards, made him keep going when death was imminent, for that was how the Master ensured a simple capture; let him down for ten minutes, kill him and chain him back up whilst he wasn't breathing. He felt himself stretch as far forwards as his aching and beaten body could get away with, but it took so long that before he'd moved more than a few feet, the barrel of the gun was pressed to the back of his head and the shot rang out.

_**Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
**__**These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
**__**All I need is you  
**__**Come please I'm callin'  
**__**And oh I scream for you  
**__**Hurry I'm fallin'**_

Yet again, Jack was brought painfully back into the realm of the living, gasping and spluttering in shock. He'd done it so many times, so many painful and feared filled times, that on this occasion, he could do nothing but cry. His body was wracked with heart felt sobs, tears pouring from his eyes like fire. He could barely look around without the fear setting in, the memories of the Master's torture and merciless taunting. Again, the thought of that one person was all he could do to keep himself sane, shrinking away from the pain and the fear to the recesses of his mind where his sanity lived, deep within him.

At the sight of Jack Harkness crying and helpless, the Master came down to the room with a horrible grin on his face, loving every single one of Jack's gut wrenching sobs, savouring the sound as if it was the rarest of chocolates. Jack finally forced himself to stop and looked up, meeting the Master's eyes and glaring at him. He watched as the man approached, weapons in hand. He was holding a simple knife this time, but Jack knew he could work it in ways that would have him screaming within minutes.

As if he read his thoughts, the Master placed a hand on Jack's front and pulled the dirty shirt open, revealing the skin beneath. He ran the tip of the knife over the man's ribs before placing it on one of the gaps between the bones, applying a little pressure, drawing a few beads of blood. Jack's gritted his teeth and looked away from the man, into the corner of the room. He bit back the whimper as the knife dug a little deep, the trickle of blood overflowing and running down his stomach. He sank away into his mind and started searching for the hope he'd held onto for so long. _Where are you…?_

The knife was plunged between his rubs, tearing into his lung and forcing all the air from Jack's body. He threw his head back and grunted with pain, determined not to give the Master any more satisfaction than that. He felt the Master twist the knife slightly and it bit further in, forcing his ribs to bend apart a little. The pain was hardly bearable. Then the knife was let go of, the weight pf the handle pulling down on the blade a little, causing more sparks of pain to shoot through him.

When the second knife was shoved harshly into a gap between ribs on the other side, he didn't even have time to stop himself from whimpering a little. The third, fourth and fifth quickly followed, all into random ribs, all piercing his lungs and making each breath a sharp stab to his body. He treated each knife the same as the first one, causing Jack to feel like his ribcage was about to explode out of his chest. The pain and pressure building up was the worst he'd ever felt at the Master's hands.

He started to sink into his mind, searching desperately for his sanity. He soon found what he was looking for, but there was something wrong. The face in his mind, the voice echoing in his ears, the whispered comforts… They weren't right, they were different to before. The vision flickered, wavered and he quickly drew back to reality, too shaken to trust the image he normally found so much comfort in. The Master looked into his eyes and Jack saw the malicious spark flickering in them. He watched as the man drew a longer, sharper knife from the sheath within his suit jacket. He placed the tip on Jack's skin, just above his navel, right in the center. Angling the blade up, he pushed it an inch or so into his burning flesh.

Jack gasped and his mind instinctively shrank away, to the face and voice that was different. _Gwen, where the hell are you, Gwen?! _He fought against the pain rippling out of his stomach as he searched for the woman, but to no avail. Then he saw the new face, he saw with a strange twist of relief who it was. The blade sank in, twisted constantly, causing Jack to yell in pain, a scream welling up in him as he felt his ribs forced apart, the pressure building to the point where several of them snapped under the strain.

"IANTO!" The scream erupted from him as the dagger shredded his lungs and heart, the blood emptying into his chest cavity. With a final feeling of suffocation, the pain vanished and he fell from life, into the gaping darkness of death.

_**Show me what it's like  
**__**To be the last one standing  
**__**And teach me wrong from right  
**__**And I'll show you what I can be**_

That memory had haunted Jack since he'd first set eyes on Ianto again. The young man looked at him with such trust, such unwavering loyalty that he felt guilty for turning to Gwen all those times until roughly the half way mark of the year that never was. He hadn't been able to stop himself from telling Ianto it was him he'd come back for, but the battling confusion in him had caused him to rebel against the fact. He knew deep down that he'd only end up hurting Ianto and being hurt in return, so maybe it was that which had led him to thinking about being with Gwen again.

The resolve fell away when he felt the wedding ring on her finger, realising it was for the best. She may have been the one who brought him back from the dead before he left, but that didn't mean he owed her anything. It was then that he'd started to think about Ianto again, eventually deciding that being with the Welshman was worth suffering any pain he may be subjected to. Ianto had been a rock, always there for whoever needed him, especially Jack. He'd been the one who tried to keep things together when the pieces fell apart. The silent and faithful administrator.

_**Say it for me  
**__**Say it to me  
**__**And I'll leave this life behind me  
**__**Say it if it's worth saving me**_

It had been awkward in the office, but his heart had leapt and turn somersaults in his chest when Ianto had said yes. Ianto Jones; the tea-boy, the passing shag who'd been there for him whenever he'd asked him to be, and sometimes when he hadn't said a word. Ianto Jones; his moral compass, his sarcastic right hand man. He was determined to show Ianto his was more than a booty-call to him, that he needed him and that it was his face and his voice that got him through the roughest times, that brought him back in one piece.

Maybe there was a reason he'd been subjected to the Master now, maybe it was so he could get over the stupid and narcissistic affection he'd held for Gwen. It was up to Ianto now. He'd give him everything, if he wanted it.

_**Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
**__**With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
**__**And all I see is you**_

Jack's return had been a shock to his system. He hadn't said a word about what he'd endured to anyone, not even Ianto. He couldn't bear the thought of making him aware of the horror he'd been through. Instead, in the quiet and solitude of the night, he'd climb to the roof and sit down, watching Cardiff as it went about it's business, oblivious to what had gone on high above it, what had been wiped from the history of time and space.

It had been several weeks, but the guilt and the fear still rippled around him at times like that, when all he could feel were the echoes of despair. It was times like that when he needed Ianto more than ever, needed him to hold him and tell him nothing was wrong, that they were alive and together. When he closed his eyes, he could see Ianto there, smiling or quirking his eyebrow in a way that suggested amusement.

_**These city walls ain't got no love for me  
**__**I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
**__**And oh I scream for you  
**__**Come please I'm callin'  
**__**And all I need from you  
**__**Hurry I'm fallin'**_

He felt it set in again, the hopelessness that he'd lived in for so long. It gripped at his heart and he felt the tears beginning to form, burning the backs of his eyes as he stubbornly blinked them away. He stood up and looked down, considering whether he should take that step forwards. What would be the point? He couldn't die anyway, he would just look like even more of an idiot, put Ianto through even more pain. Pain that he'd inflicted by his carelessness and flirting.

It gripped at him, clutching at him until all he could do was scream, scream into the wind that would whip it away. He screamed for Ianto, pleaded with the man to appear beside him, to keep him safe. The tears fell heavily and he yelled himself hoarse. Eventually, he broke down into painful sobs, curling up on himself as he crouched to the roof, holding himself tightly to make the pain stop, to make the fear go away. He sat there and rocked, silently begging and pleading for Ianto, knowing that he wouldn't hear, he'd wouldn't come.

A hand reached out and placed itself on his back, rubbing it gently, trying to soothe the wracking sobs that shook him. Jack struggled to disentangle himself and look up, hope budding in his heart, making it harder to breathe. Crouching beside him was Ianto, looking at him with concern, affection in his eyes and he smiled encouragingly. Jack pulled him roughly into a tight embrace, suddenly scared that he'd disappear in the same fashion as he had so long ago, desperate to find the Doctor. Ianto, slightly taken aback just leaned in towards him and started to stroke his hair, holding him close until the tears stopped.

The two knelt on the roof for a long time, pressed so close together that they may have become one person. Jack felt deep wounds heal, felt the pain and fear melt away, vanish in the presence of Ianto. He knew it would return in the dark of the night when Ianto wasn't there, but for now, it was gone.

_I love you, Ianto Jones…_

_**Show me what it's like  
**__**To be the last one standing  
**__**And teach me wrong from right  
**__**And I'll show you what I can be  
**__**Say it for me  
**__**Say it to me  
**__**And I'll leave this life behind me  
**__**Say it if it's worth saving me**_

_**Hurry I'm fallin'**_


End file.
